Friendship...

Improves happiness and abates misery by doubling our joy and dividing our grief.


I couldn't be more blessed with kind and caring friends. I don't know what I would do without em!











As you can probably see.. most of these are verrrry old pictures. All of my recent ones are on my laptop.. which unfortunately is going through surgery right now. But I'll be sure to put more up to date pictures on here as soon as "he" is out of surgery and recovered! :)

Love Hunter Bug

Snow Driven

It's been scientifically proven that when the weather is cold and snowy, people tend to get grouchy and tired all the time. POINT PROVEN! It started snowing again today.. bringing down my mood and high hopes that maybe sometime soon it'll start to get warm again.

I've decided to do soccer this year.. since I didn't do it last year. Tryout are the first week in March, so there won't be too much added stress to my already huge overload.

Musical practice is tonight at 6, and we rehearse with the munchkins. I'm pretty excited to see the look on a couple of the kids' faces when they find out that they have been "promoted" from munchkin to flying monkey. Let's just say we have a couple of kiddos who are waaaay to squirly to fit the part of a, somewhat calm, munchkin. Woo.

Put in my order for my class ring today during my lunch period. I'll let you know how THAT one goes.

Love, Hunter Bug

I LOVE MY WARD! :)

It's true! I love my ward! And now I know for certain that the insecurity that I felt earlier last week about going to the temple was a sure sign that I needed to go spend time with the people in my ward and seek serious revelation in the temple. Although I did through up at Cracker Barrel on the way home and felt sick the whole rest of the night.. I'm so happy I went.

Everyone has a foundation that is made up of people that help support them and love always. The youth in my ward definitely make up a BIG chunk of my foundation.

What would we do without our ward families????? Love you guys! All of you!

Love Hunter Bug

Flying By

Now I don't know about you.. but it felt like yesterday we were celebrating New Years.. and it's already JANUARY 23RD?? Are you kidding?? Where did the time go? I have almost less than a month to completely transform into a 12 year old girl! Ugh

I feel so very blessed for all of the back-up and support that my mom and I have from everyone while working on this canned food drive. Everyone has been more than willing to help... and the feeling that gives me is so over-whelming. Thank you, everyone, for the support and help!! Megan would greatly appreciate this. :)

In about 45 minutes, I'm off to go sing the National Anthem at one of Staley High School's most visited games. Shockingly.. no nerves. But my voice has been cracking and giving out lately every time I sing. So this ought to be interesting.

Temple trip tomorrow! I was talking to one of the Young Women in my ward earlier this week. We were both off to a rough start to the day.. One of those seminary lessons that you get. You know, the ones that really make you think about everything you are grateful for and all of your wonderful blessings. (Thanks mom) But she was telling me she was really looking forward to this temple trip because she so desperately needed to be close to Megan. I hate saying this.. but I don't feel the same way. I usually am more than happy to attend a temple trip.. especially when I know I need specific inspiration that I only get in the temple. For some odd reason, that I can't seem to put my finger on, I'm not all that thrilled to go. I feel absolutely awful saying that.. but it's the truth. Maybe that's sign being shoved in my face that I really really really really need to go.

We're off to see the Wizard!!!!!! Wish me luck tonight.. I'm gonna need it. :)

Love, Hunter Bug

Goods

I've got a few goodies for ya.

1. CANNED FOOD DRIVE! Since I am doing Megan's Good Works value project, my mom and I have come up with a canned food drive that will help feed 2500 families in Clay County, Missouri. I've started up on a flyer (though I haven't quite gotten all the information yet) and will be around soon with Sunfresh bags for cans! The cans that are donated will go directly to the store house, opened and run by the Benedictine Sisters of the Queen of Angels Monastery. I'll be taking donations up until February 13th, but I'll mostly be promoting that Valentine's Day week. It's going to take a lot of work.. but it'll be totally worth it! :)

2. Our set for the Wizard of Oz is finally in and installed! It's not exactly what I was expecting.. But we'll make it work.

3. New Poem:
Help me to know
That your really there.
And help me to see
That you really care.
Further my understanding
In all that I say and do.
Help me to know
You love me too.

Help me in finding truth
From everything I've come to know.
Help me to apply it daily
So that towards you, I can grow.
I know you are there,
Oh Savior of mine,
And sorry it has taken me so long
To finally snap into line
I love you, my dear friend.
And I know what you have done is true.
There is no doubt in my mind;
You love me too.

Love, Hunter Bug

The Mayonnaise Jar and 2 Cups of Coffee

I read this in AP English about a week ago. Just thought I would share it in a quick post. It's helping me a lot!

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them in to the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes".

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things--- God, your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions--- and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else--- the small stuff. "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Spend time with your parents. Visit your grandparents. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first--- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

As you well know.. I've got a lot on my plate. And I know for a fact that I'm not the only one. This just shows how we all need to sit back and figure out what's really important in our lives. It really is amazing how these stories just kind of fall into my lap at the right times. :)

Love Hunter Bug

Busy Busy

Lately I have been extremely busy with allll of this musical stuff, choir, and wrestling.. so bear with me, and my not so up-to-date posts.

musical: comin along pretty good. We have officially started rehearsing with the munchkins on Tuesday and Thursday nights.. so that's pretty fun! They are full of energy and learn quickly which helps a lot. Sooo tonight being a Thursday means that I have to go back into the school at 6. Yay.... What's funny about this is that I always dread going into rehearsal but once I get there, I'm absolutely thrilled to be there! It's always the same way with swim practices and stuff. See? Here are these patterns again. :)

theater: Here comes the confusing part. Theater is a class that I'm taking during school, and actually counts for a grade (Since I took it last year too I'm in theater II/III). Musical practice is an extra curricular activity and doesn't count as a grade. So if you ever see me talking about the two of them; you'll know the difference. ANYWAYS, in Theater we have just finished writing One Act plays that other students will be cast in and also perform in front of a live audience. The show I have been cast is called Leg.. I know I know... But in "Leg" I have been cast as Nurse White. Towards the middle of the play I get my leg cut off.. Hence the name "Leg". So I've been memorizing for that and stuff.

Choir/singing: As if there isn't enough memorizing to do already; In our school's choirs, instead of having a final concert to finish out the year.. each choir does their own mini musical. And I, being in two choirs, have to memorize twice the amount of music and dialogue.

To add to the pressure, yesterday I went to tell our wrestling coach that I would be able to work at our wrestling duel for that evening at scoring tables and what not. He told me this: "Great! Your first job is warm up your voice and sing the National Anthem for me!". I just kinda laughed and said.. ME? I ended up doing it, and was told that I did a pretty good job.. But I'll leave that up to the professionals to decide. :)

Surprisingly I don't mind the added on pressure or stress... I think it's a good type of stress. It keeps me busy doing the things that I LOVE to do! I know without a doubt that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life.. Or for as long as I can.

Tag! Your It!
Type only 1 word
1. Where is your cell phone? desk
2. Your significant other? psh!
3. Your hair? brown
4. Your mother? teacher
5. Your father? hardworking
6. Your favorite thing? sing
7. Your dream last night? weird
8. Your favorite drink? grapefruit
9. Your dream/goal? broadway
10. The room you're in? office
11.Your fear? YoGabbaGabba :)
12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? family
13. Where were you last night? wrestling
14. What you're not? awake
15. Muffins? blueberry!
16. One of your wish list items? comfort
17. Where you were born? Montana
18. The last thing you did?school
19. What are you wearing?clothes
20. Your life? chaotic
21. Your mood? tired
22. Missing someone? definitely
23. Your car? bug :)
24. Favorite thing to buy? chipotle
25. Favorite Store? Hollister
26. Your summer? wanted
27. Your favorite color? green
28. When is the last time you laughed? today
29. Last time you cried? yesterday

Love, Hunter Bug

A Couple Tributes

So today being January 12th, marks one month to the day. And suprisingly... no harsh feelings. I had a pretty cool dream the other night about Megan... and honestly that's probably brought a close to MOST of the sulking. My wonderful aunt Melanie wrote this to me.

One thought comes to mind, from the book "Left to Tell"...When she went back to visit her lost home, she saw her parents and siblings standing above the ruins letting her know how much they love her and that she needed to know how happy they were. They told her to basically (don't remember the words just the feelings I had), to be happy for they had work to do. They would be there for her, but wanted her to be happy for them, so they could move forward in the Lords work.Your sweet friend will always be apart of your life and at many times of it be there with you. I know that the most important part of death, is to grieve. The tears will lessen, the sorrow will slowly leave. That's the Lords tender mercy on us left on earth to live our test and purpose. It is good you are expressing yourself...for it brings healing. Hold her in your heart, in a very special place..for that is what she is doing in heaven for you. You are a blessing to all around you bug.

I could not have said it better myself! And that's pretty much what my dream implied also! I am completely surrounded by wonderful angels whom I am so grateful for.. She didn't leave me empty handed. :)

*Side note* If you have not read the book my Aunt refers to, "Left to Tell", you need to! I know.. its a book.. but it causes you to look at life in a totally new perspective, and draw closer to the Lord. It's great! Thanks for that too Mellie! :)

ALSO!!!! I have another tribute!

Tomorrow will be Januray 13th.. marking the 2 years since our dear friend Janelle Tebbs died of cancer. We still love her a bunch and continue to miss her dearly!! But we know that she's up there with Megan watching over us and helping us out.

Its lightly snowing outside and kinda icy.. so I'm going throw this out there. (and I know I always say it). PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.. even if you don't live in Missouri.. BE SAFE IN YOUR TRAVELS!

I love and miss you all! Stay sweet! :)

Love, Hunter Bug

Patterns

There seems to be some sort of pattern in EVERYTHING I do. Which can be a good thing.. and a bad thing. But for the most part, lately, it's all been for the good side!

One specific pattern (or maybe it's just habit) that I can't seem to shake usually comes around the last few days of each week, since December 12th. And I end up writing something like I did last night in my journal:

When will the tears end?
Please tell me!
So I can be a good friend again.
I beg on my hands and knees just to her hear her voice,
Though I know she wouldn't be here
If it were her choice.
But still the mascara runs almost willingly down my cheeks,
And I haven't been able to stop it
For these past endless weeks.
I feel so much pain and anger inside,
All I ask is please, with me abide.
I know they say it gets easier as you go.
But for me, I continue to feel it.
From my head to my toes.
This pain just seems to amplify
And I keep asking myself
Why couldn't she have waited a little longer to die.
An end needs to come to these "best friend withdrawals",
The crying, sobbing, sulking, and back and forth "feeling brawls".
My blessing says to have a warm heart,
And then I won't feel that we're apart.
But it's hard to feel warm, when what I feel is cold.
I feel Him telling me that one day,
These feelings will grow old.
I'm growing anxious for the day we, again, see each other.
And stand, hand in hand,
One to another.

After writing these sad, sulky poems.. I immediately feel stupid.. and almost guilty for writing them! Yeah.. I'm sad. But I have absolutely no reason to be!! And usually I'm not. The thought of, not just Megan, but the other friends and family of mine who have passed on; in such a beautiful place, brings me so much happiness and fulfillment that I can't help but feel completely overjoyed and, as I said in my poem, anxious to see them again. I don't know if most of you know this.. but within the past month I have lost two of my friends to two different car accidents and two of my great-grandparents, one of which gave me my PATRIARCHAL BLESSING. I honestly could not tell you where my life would be headed right now if I didn't feel this constant happiness, love, hope, gratefulness, and peace all the time. I wish I could share these wonderful feelings with everyone around me. This may sound crazy.. but I wish I could just touch them (literally) and have them feel this warmth. But since I am not, under any circumstances, a superhero.. I cannot do this. I can only share my testimony (yes.. it exists) with everyone around me!

EXCITING NEWS! Again.. like my wrestling fan gear.. this may seem small and insignificant. In the mail today came my brand new red ruby... CONVERSE. No, not slippers.. converse! They are absolutely, positively to die for!! I'm waiting for conformation.. but I'm hoping that on the last night we perform the Wizard of Oz, instead of wearing my red ruby slippers.. I can wear my converse! I know some people will that is crazy and that the slippers are a key part in the show, and if I wear converse.. it'll ruin it. But if you know me at all.. you know I would do it in a heart beat! I mean, don't you think it would be awesome to see me standing there on stage, in the middle of Emerald City, saying "Theres no place like home!" in my red ruby converse??? The answer is yes! It would be awesome!

ACT 2 Scene 12
Dorothy
Well- I- I think that it isn't enough just to want to see Uncle Henry and Auntie Em. And it's that- If I ever go looking for my heart's desire again.. I won't look any further than my own backyard. Because if it isn't there.. I never really lost it to begin with.

She (or I.. hehe! :) ) speaks the truth! Thanks Dorothy!

Love, Hunter Bug

The Bestest!

Musical: Not too bad today. My lines are memorized! Yay me!.. I can't say the same for some of my other cast members.. but hey! We'll work on it together! So now all I've got to do is get the music down, locate some pretty awesome sparkly slippers (not counting the ones I wore for a Halloween years ago), practice my "stage crying", and I'll be in tip top shape!

After musical: The 6 leads in our cast have been instructed to become more "close-knitted", and start hanging out more so that we can interact better together while on stage. We have DEFINITELY taken that to heart! These guys are without a doubt "the bestest" people ever! Once a week, or so, the 6 leads (being Elaina Parker- Glinda, Reid Van Engen- Scarecrow, Brendan Stevens- Tinman, Ian McDonald- Lion, Nate Algaier- Zeke, and myself- Dorothy) all get together and do some "bonding". This bonding usually consists of eating... and talking for hours! We did that today! After musical practice we went to CHIPOTLE and ate and talked talked talked! Their all such good kids and I feel so blessed to have them as my friends!

Side note: Do groups usually comes in "6s". I now have "the gang" (earlier post) and "the cast". Hmmm.

STALEY WRESTLING: So as most of you know.. the North Kansas City School District built a brand new high school in the last few years (Staley High School) , because of overcrowding at Oak Park. Well because of my current address, I was switched over from Oak Park from Staley.. without my sister. But it's all been worth it! Sure.. I miss Oak Park.. But I couldn't be more grateful for such an awesome school! So many more opportunities.. and things to do. Also, as most of you welllllll know.. high school wrestling has played a key role in my Chloe's and my high school career. She- being in involved with Oak Park wrestling.. and me- being involved in Staley wrestling. (Guess that's another thing we got from dad.) The reason I bring this up is because I am super excited that my fan gear has finally come in! (Yes.. I lead a VERY exciting life!... Can you tell?) I ordered them over a month ago and I finally got all of it today! This may seem simple and pointless to you.. but hoooo boy have I been excited for this stuff to come in!.... Wow! I really need a life!

Signing off for now. Ta ta! Love you all! Please please please be safe in your travels!

Love, Hunter Bug

Back To School

Just as the title says.. We all went back to school today. WHAT A BUMMER!!!! Although it was nice to see friends, teachers, the disgusting coffee stain that my friend Reid left in the theater room... I wanted to be home so badly! And even though it's the first day back and so far I have no big assignments to get done, I still am feeling that huge weight of school work back on my shoulders. I think that maybe this has something to do with my sister leaving. The talk in our household has been all about COLLEGE and about Chloe finishing off her high school years with good grades and good choices. So I guess you could say... I've had college on the mind. And I don't exactly know whether it's a good or bad thing to have college on my mind already.... Well really, it isn't THAT far off.. but still.

Last night I was laying in my bed for what seems like an eternity! I just could not sleep! So I pulled out my journal and started writing. When I woke up this morning I had this written in there:

Around the leaf the little bug goes.
Where she goes...?
No body knows!
We bet she's off, again, to conquer her foes.
And avoid being stepped on by her foes big toes.
She knows nothing of fancy shoes or clothes,
Or nothing of presents with huge bows.
But she knows of the spider and the beautiful web she sews.
She also knows of the poor spider's woes.
The little bug takes the spider to a beautiful red rose,
And tries to impose,
That this spider can also conquer her foes.
The rose has no woes.
The rose has no foes.
Comfort will come to this spider, the little bug knows.
The spider now knows and ,again, a web she sews.
She now knows she can conquer her woes and foes.
And so around the leaf the little big goes.
Where she goes...?
No body knows!

When I woke up and read this I figured I was trying to get across that the little bug represented me.. But when I read it to my mom she said, " You know nothing of fancy shoes or clothes??". And yes! Of course I know alllll about fancy shoes and clothes! Take a look at my gorgeous sisters and mother... and dad. But if you ask any of my family members.. I'm sure they would be more then happy to tell you all about my wardrobe.. and how it usually consists of jeans and a t-shirt. Other than that- I guess you could say that I'm pretty happy with this one!

Tonight at Young Women's, we will be starting off on finishing Megan's personal progress for her. It's going to be such an honor working with the other girls in my ward, whom I love so much, and helping Megan finish off something that was so incredibly important to her. And I guess in a way, it'll be helping all of us too. :)

Love, Hunter Bug

Goin' For A Ride In The Car

I LOVE driving with my mom! Not my dad... definitely my mom. When I'm driving with my dad he's constantly nagging me and pointing out everything- and I mean EVERYTHING! And I feel like I don't learn anything. With my mom, she just lets me drive and do my own thing, occasionally saying something helpful, but mostly just sitting there. It feels like I'm driving around with one of my girlfriends- Correction. It IS like driving around with one of my girlfriends. Not quite as crazy... but still enjoyable.

We drove past the temple site and even though there isn't any real action going on yet, and even though it's winter and everything in Missouri looks completely dead... it was still gorgeous. Maybe it's just the feeling you get driving past, knowing that in a few years there will be a glorious temple there. The only downside to this is that by the time the temple is actually built, I'll be off to college and considering whether I want to go on a mission or not. But it brings me comfort to know that there will be one so close to all of our friends and family here, and that there could be a great possibility that I could get married so close to home. (Ugh. Creepy and disgusting thought...)

Oh well. I'm hoping for my lunch date (Sonja Litster.. :) ) to call me soon!

We go back to school tomorrow.. nooooo! Winter break went by way to fast. I just hope that second semester goes by even more quickly. (I know.. such an optimistic thought.)

Love, Hunter Bug

One Of Those Days

You know those days when you don't feel like going anywhere?... Or doing anything? Today was one of those days. While the family went out to "the Legends" in Kansas and shopped around, I stayed home, studied my lines, read a book, went for a walk, and wrote in my journal. It's one of those days when I just sit back and think about tender mercies that I'm thankful for... like pictures. I feel like these are the only memories I have of my best friend. I wrote this not too long ago in my journal.

Why did you have to leave so soon & miss the times that matter most?
Because it's times like these when I treasured your friendship,
And that we got to be so close.
Why couldn't I be with you those last few minutes of your life?
I want you to know it pains me,
And causes torment and strife.
Why can't I be there to see you grow old and wise?
To see you get married and start a family,
With those never-changing, deep blue eyes.
I can't stand the "buts, whys, and ifs",
And the constant wonder that maybe one day this burden will lift.
I hate the sad, sick feelings of being alone.
I miss you Megan.
Save me a spot at home.

I know it only gets easier from here, and it has! It definitely has! I get the constant pleasure of having her with me always, and not just the times when we would hang out for a few hours at a time. But it's those moments when I say things, listen to certain songs, look at pictures, read funny notes, look back on hilarious late night phone calls; I can't stand knowing that the last time I saw my best friend was when she was sitting at my choir concert.. cheering me on.. And telling me what a fabulous job I did (even though I sucked) and then pointing out any extremely hot guy she could lay her eyes on. I can't stand knowing that I had no idea saying good night to her that Tuesday night, would be the last good night I would tell her in this lifetime.

She set a wonderful example for me, and I miss her a bunch. It brings me great comfort to know that I have a purpose here on this earth, at this time. Megan had hers.. and she fulfilled it. I'm proud of her, and I can't wait to see her again!

Love you "my lover"! :)

Love, Hunter Bug

Startin' the Day Off!

Pretty good start to the day! My sisters and I got up at around 7 (early for us.. considering its still winter break and we've been getting up at 10 or 11) and met "the gang" for breakfast at Corner Cafe. Now the gang consists of 6 primary people, and we're slowly growing. The 6 people are:

Chloe and myself

Taylor Meador

Chad Roberts

Cody Jameson





Joey Johnsen

(These are your reference pictures.. I'll probably be talking about them a lot. As you can see we are still working on a group picture.) Soooo it was the 6 of us this morning, Bridger Connie, and Chad's brother Cody!

Memorization deadline for my lines= Tuesday!!!! and I am lacking motivation! AND I'm only half way done! Wish me luck!

Love, Hunter

New At This!

So I figured that since I'm constantly checking my mom's blog to keep up to date on everyone, that I might as well start one up also! I enjoy reading posts from people all around and love this way of communicating.

For those of you who don't quite understand the name of my blog (A Bug's Life), it's pretty much because since the minute I was born, I have been known as Hunter Bug. Supposedly my amazingly huge eyes resemble bug eyes. I've always absolutely HATED the nickname, and only recently this year has it finally grown on me. It's part of what makes me... me! And I'm okay with that! :)

I think that's it for now. I still gotta figure out how this whole thing works.

Happy New Year!
Please be safe in your travels and have an amazing 2009!

Love, Hunter Bug