One Of Those Days

You know those days when you don't feel like going anywhere?... Or doing anything? Today was one of those days. While the family went out to "the Legends" in Kansas and shopped around, I stayed home, studied my lines, read a book, went for a walk, and wrote in my journal. It's one of those days when I just sit back and think about tender mercies that I'm thankful for... like pictures. I feel like these are the only memories I have of my best friend. I wrote this not too long ago in my journal.

Why did you have to leave so soon & miss the times that matter most?
Because it's times like these when I treasured your friendship,
And that we got to be so close.
Why couldn't I be with you those last few minutes of your life?
I want you to know it pains me,
And causes torment and strife.
Why can't I be there to see you grow old and wise?
To see you get married and start a family,
With those never-changing, deep blue eyes.
I can't stand the "buts, whys, and ifs",
And the constant wonder that maybe one day this burden will lift.
I hate the sad, sick feelings of being alone.
I miss you Megan.
Save me a spot at home.

I know it only gets easier from here, and it has! It definitely has! I get the constant pleasure of having her with me always, and not just the times when we would hang out for a few hours at a time. But it's those moments when I say things, listen to certain songs, look at pictures, read funny notes, look back on hilarious late night phone calls; I can't stand knowing that the last time I saw my best friend was when she was sitting at my choir concert.. cheering me on.. And telling me what a fabulous job I did (even though I sucked) and then pointing out any extremely hot guy she could lay her eyes on. I can't stand knowing that I had no idea saying good night to her that Tuesday night, would be the last good night I would tell her in this lifetime.

She set a wonderful example for me, and I miss her a bunch. It brings me great comfort to know that I have a purpose here on this earth, at this time. Megan had hers.. and she fulfilled it. I'm proud of her, and I can't wait to see her again!

Love you "my lover"! :)

Love, Hunter Bug